Yes, I fell down today. I fell down after I ripped a hole in my nice linen pants with one of those sword-like hook things from a hanging file (I tell you, if you ever need a very effective weapon in your office suddenly…). I should have taken that as a sign to close the drawer and just leave everything alone. But I was oblivious.
And, indeed, the fact that I fell down was not surprising. The MANNER in which I fell down, on the other hand, was pretty impressive. A bottom file drawer on my desk was open and I was standing right by it (with my back to it). I somehow lost my footing (more later on my theory that invisible people are pushing me over all the time) and fell backwards OVER the file drawer. But that√≠¬≥ not the remarkable part. The extraordinary thing is that when I fell over I somehow managed to completely wedge myself into the TINIEST place. I am not a wee person. I’m quite far from wee, really; nonetheless I still ended up in this very compact little bundle between the file drawer and a part of my desk. It was so PETITE! It was a practically infinitesimal niche. But as much as I dote on teensy things, I must say that it hurt like a mother. I said some words that were in questionable taste, and the surprisingly intense volume I managed to create with the whole incident (remember that I lost my voice – I’m still getting it back) brought everyone in from their offices. They found me squished into the itsy bitsy nook intoning festive sailor-language. “Don’t listen, I bellowed – I’m saying foul things!” They’d already heard them, though, and were my attentive audience as I ever so gracefully extricated myself from the itty-bitty slot.
I try to entertain people on Mondays.