One might think I’d not had a mishap since the Ides of March, and I might choose to let them go on in blissful ignorance of the fact that I still manage, on a recurring basis, to damage myself in various tumbles and collisions galore. For instance, in the space of less than a month, I twisted the same ankle four (five?) times (impressively, I managed to continue damaging it even though I was wearing a brace on it during all but the original incident). First, I fell down the stairs with two heavy bags (prompting me to say many quite spicy cuss/swear-type words at the First Unitarian Church – though I acknowledge that if you’re going to let a blue streak fly in any house of worship that’s undoubtedly the best place to do it). In my defense, I was trying to discern whether a refuse can at the bottom was for garbage or recycling – let’s just say that in my concentration on the damn rubbish container I seriously misjudged WHERE the bottom of the stairs were. A week or so later I fell up some concrete porch stairs (thank you for keeping the snickering tacit, Grettir, and managing to express concern while gracefully smothering what I must admit would have been well-deserved laughter). Then, one of my favorite tall clogs inexplicably broke causing me to crash into a wood pile outside a grocery store. I claim amnesia or the Fifth or something concerning the rest of the wrenchings.
I guess the point is that I don’t want my penchant for inadvertent personal abuse to become tedious or mundane. So I’ll just share the calamities that have some interesting aspect to them. For instance, today I was walking out of a room with one of my kitten children (Ms. Fiona Maura MacArthur) and I fell down (okay – for no apparent reason) and flung the medium-wee cat in the air. She, naturally, landed soundly on all four feet (paws). I landed on my well-padded… ah hell – I should just call it my “landing pad.” The kitten child and I were both unhurt, but she did look at me very quizzically, as if to say, “You’re supposed to land on your PAWS!”