Yes, I will eagerly debase myself in return for free loose gemstones (genuine jewels – NOT synthetic or “created” ones – I do have some pride, afterall). If you take that as your cue to snort and cynically exclaim, “HA!” please keep it to yourself.

As a matter of fact, I will willingly volunteer to humiliate myself for gratis precious stones. It is, afterall, an unusual opportunity these days.