Read the following and decide for yourself: Is it purely amusing or does it portend a feline takeover of the world?
I believe I have mentioned that my Kitten Children belong to a CD club (under their full names, Beatrice Allessandra Gatto and Fiona Maura MacArthur, of course), but they’ve received surprisingly little junk mail as a result of these memberships. Fiona may have just received the first, come to think of it. She got an invitation to join Your PC Made Easy® – “Basic Computer Skills Made Simple & Easy.” There are four FREE cards inside and an opportunity to claim your “free gift package.” I thought this was all very droll (and considered handing the cards over to my Father, who, despite being a brilliant scientist, has – ahem – conspicuous gaps in his computer skills, particularly the online variety, which made that fact that he was the one who just installed DSL on this computer more than a little tiddly bit sad).
But then I began to reflect – what if this was no haphazard marketing ploy? Did Fiona ORDER this packet? Wait a minute – she used my last name instead of HERS – perhaps thinking it would attract less postal attention. Are my Kitten Children brushing up on their computer proficiency???
Further examination of this matter is imperative. The very top free card reads, “Get to know E-mail.” Okay, that is a tad spooky. Now I’d better open this package (a federal postal offense, yes, but she IS a cat). Worse and worse! Also included are “Write and print a letter,” “Moving files and folders,” and “Help – my PC crashed.” Good GOD – that’s all Fiona and BeBe need to start some type of snail mail campaign, an email campaign AND hide the evidence by burying or moving the files and/or folders. And ANYONE who uses a PC (as opposed to a beloved Apple product) cannot proceed without instructions on how to handle multiple crashes. WHAT IF THEY ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD? Oh, yes, they’ve earned my trust with their superlative cuteness and even their occasional charming naughtiness. Is it all a ploy? They are cuddling and going to sleep in a chair right behind me; perish the thought, but perhaps they are SPYING! Oh yes, BeBe, pretend to wash your little paws, but I am now SUSPICIOUS!!! Feign sleep with that faint, sweet little snore, Fiona, but I’m WATCHING YOU!