To Whom It May Concern:
Did the package of combs with the Microban® label (“This product protected by Microban® – antimicrobial product protection – Cleaner. Fresher. All the Time.”) appear in the bathroom because of what was stuck to the furnace filter? Perhaps you do not KNOW what was stuck to the furnace filter, so I will tell you.
But first I should tell you that the only reason I know what was stuck to the furnace filter is because while I was just sitting and minding my own business, my Father rushed up to me, wearing his “Darth Vader” respirator and shoved two items in my face – two objects so lint-encrusted and dusty that they actually were triple their original size and looked FUZZY and vaguely Muppet-like (NOT in a nice way). I recognized one item as one of those “rat-tail” combs. The other – I haven’t the faintest CLUE what it was and I didn’t care to further examine it. It MAY have been a shiv, but do not quote me on that. While he “showed me” these things my Father was saying something very excitedly in his muffled “Darth Vader” voice to the effect of “THESE WERE STUCK TO THE FURNACE FILTER! THESE WERE STUCK TO THE FURNACE FILTER!!!” At least I THINK that’s what he was saying (it was confirmed later that the items were, indeed, stuck to the furnace filter). I was perturbed – first of all because my Father scared the hell out of me – startled me half to death – rushing up to me wearing that frightening mask and thrusting disgusting, grimy objects in my face. I also thought (mistakenly) from his agitated tone that somehow he was accusing me of some sort of impropriety that led to those objects being encased in furnace filter fluff. I suggested that he probably didn’t want to carry those filthy things wantonly about the house (I did not suggest this in a nice way). So he left me and went into another room where I heard him, in his “Darth Vader” voice, eagerly divulging to my Mother, “These were stuck to the furnace filter! THESE WERE STUCK TO THE FURNACE FILTER!!!”
So you can see why I might presume that the purchase of the Microban® combs might have something to do with the comb from the furnace filter which was, indeed, NOT “clean” or “fresh” – rather it was very, very dirty.
Kate of Kate Hall, etc.