I think I may have to turn in my Turophile crown. Duh – it’s IMAGINARY; I’m not THAT crazy (don’t get me wrong, having constructed four or five “Festival of Idaho” crowns – a subject for another time – I think I might really enjoy having a Turophile crown, but I don’t deserve it now). I received an email from Ideal Cheese concerning the “Ideal Cheese Super Brown Special Jan. 28 – Feb. 5, 2006.” I still do not get the “brown,” part; we’ll just have to see if I can figure that one out. I immediately thought determined that this was vital, life-altering cheese information and that I should, as a good Turophile, immediately share it. Here’s the gist of what I would have posted:

Get ready for your Super Bowl 2006
party with some great cheeses from Ideal Cheese at a great reduction!

From Saturday, January 28 through Sunday, February 5, 2006, you can order up to 5 different cheeses, and receive a 20% discount on those.

I KNOW! Were I at all solvent be assured I’d have five breath-taking different cheeses at the house this very minute (if I’d not gobbled them all up before tonight). But, ALAS, I am certainly not “in the chips.” AND, double alas (oh yes I CAN), when I first attempted to post the information I could not access the Ideal Cheese site. Oh, you can imagine (hmmm- don’t try too hard) the foul dairy curses that flew through the air at that moment.

Before I continue, I must stress that the following information is JUST BETWEEN US! I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough. You may ask why. THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING AND LISTENING; THAT IS WHY. Shhhhhh!!! You see, Firefox has developed an unfounded animosity for me (I can’t think of a single reason I deserve it) and there is no love lost between Internet Explorer and I (Yes, I HAVE GROWING HATRED FOR IT – shhhhhh!!!). So because I couldn’t access the Ideal Cheese site when I first thought of it, I failed to remember to go back and attempt it again. Yes, I FORGOT. Curses on this brain rattling aimlessly in my mammoth cranium! February Fifth is over, Super Bowl 2006 is over (I presume – and I DO NOT CARE TO WHAT END), so no special and wonderful discount cheese. I can only extend my most humble and sincere apologies to all those affected by this Käse Catastrophe. In addition, I will do my utmost to make certain that such an egregious oversight of a wonderful cheese opportunity will never occur on my blog again.