Teenagers these days. A few weeks ago Sarah got FIVE TATTOOS on the same day. I kid you not, FIVE. And if she thinks she can keep them all hidden, she is mistaken. I will now supply artist’s renderings of EVERY SINGLE ONE:

1. A view of Sarah's boyfriend from very, VERY high above in the sky. 2. A view of Sarah's boyfriend from very, VERY high above in the sky. 3. A view of Sarah's boyfriend from very, VERY high above in the sky. 4. A view of Sarah's boyfriend from very, VERY high above in the sky. 5. A view of Sarah's boyfriend from very, VERY high above in the sky.

Yes, these are ACTUAL SIZE

Okay, so the doctor gave Sarah the tattoos in order to prepare for the low-level radiation treatment she’s been having. Shirleen was explaining the process to William, as he, true to his fetal-man status, had completely missed that it was going to happen at all. After she had clarified the treatment for a bit, William asked:

Will she get super-powers?

Granted, he was being facetious (okay – he was being – oh, let’s say 85% facetious; he has seen Fantastic Four one too many times). Shirleen enlightened him further, telling him that the radiation was low-level, and that it would be directed to a very specific area of her “mantle” or chest region. He then surmised that perhaps she would just have a super-powered bust. True, that’s a very fifteen-year-old boy thing to say, but I admit to being rather amused at the myriad costume possibilities for a person with such super-powers. The most important part, obviously, would be the brassiere, of an exceedingly stalwart construction. The title options are fun to ponder as well. “LOOK – it’s a bird, it’s a plane – no – IT’S Phenoma-BOOBS!!!” Or, if you’d rather, “The Breast Avenger.” Maybe “Princess Super-Bust” with “Hooter-Powered DOMINANCE?”