Some may be wondering how I came to be “Kate the Safety Dog.” Let me tell you: IT DOESN’T MATTER. However you are bestowed with such an honoured title – who CARES whether you are qualified, deserving or worthy of such a designation – hang on to it for DEAR LIFE. That is why I am also “Queen of the Genetic Universe.” FOREVER.
Back to my civic contribution.
Lady and Germs, it’s time. It’s time for you FLU SHOT!!!* “Hurrah and Hip Hooray,” all dependable and trustworthy citizens rejoin. “We shall schedule that minuscule amount of time required to have the injection forthwith! Huzzah!”
Okay, YES, it is your choice; it’s YOUR body and YOUR choice. But consider this: If you do not receive a flu vaccination, you not only put yourself at risk, but OTHERS, too. You will be a carrier and a danger to all those who are immunocomprimized or at higher risk from influenza complications. But it IS your decision. The fact that I shall henceforth shout “VECTOR! RUN AWAY – RUN AWAY FROM THE DISEAS-ED VECTOR!!!” (I should specify that I mean PATHOLOGICAL Vector, not mathematical or genetic…) whenever you are about is of no consequence. “Sticks and stones,” right? That should CERTAINLY be the case for those VECTORS with such little consideration for the health and well-being of their fellow citizens (like wee little BABIES younger than six months who cannot be vaccinated – I hear them weeping now – too bad your VECTOR ears are too plugged with contagion to hear their plaintive cries). But don’t sweat it, VECTOR (unless, of course, you contract influenza, in which case you’ll sweat profusely and I certainly can’t do a damn thing about it).
Oh – and you injection-phobic VECTORS (I cannot really mock the phobia part, considering the reaction I have to hideous, filthy spiders), there is the nasal spray flu vaccine (or “LAIV”) which is approved for all healthy individuals ages five to forty-nine who are not pregnant.
Thus hath Kate the Safety Dog spoken!!!
*If you already have RECEIVED your flu shot, all lauds and honours to you for your timely and conscientious attention to your own health and the health of others. I hereby bestow upon you one gold “cyber” star to be applied in pride and dignity to your forehead region.