Things have been stressful of late, I admit (and I don’t mean the same normal, crazy, colourful stress – rather super-sized, call the authorities, it’s STRESS type), but today a lil’ something happened to ameliorate this condition. I came upstairs, after an especially grotesque change of the litter box, which needed ever-so-much more than just the Burt’s Bees shower cap (bedecked, naturally, with bees) and dirty clothes I pulled off the floor; I needed a Hazmat suit – a full on Hazmat suit. (NOTE: The grotesqueness is entirely due to my neglect and not the hygienic habits of my Kitten Children. Had they opposable thumbs, they’d so take care of it in a timely fashion.)
Anyhoo, I walked upstairs, and there was a package on the kitchen counter for me. I was a little perplexed: I have taken care of many of the orders necessary for Sarah’s Super Wedding Reception Butterfly Extravaganza™, but all the various shoes have long since arrived, the butterfly cages shipped quickly, my phone upgrade came, the bubbles with butterfly tops are here, the disposable cameras decorated with silver butterflies came with those, the personalized, embossed napkins (lavender with BUTTERFLIES and such), the Victoria’s Secret order, the printer ink, Shirleen’s phone upgrade, an order from Drugstore.com, etc., etc. – all have arrived. It’s too early for the live butterflies coming from Florida and the package was much too small and there was obviously no dry ice inside.
But there it was – addressed to me, C/O Bartholomew Consulting Services. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, ShamWow®s!
The Bartholomew Consulting Services part is a tad bit confusing. I have, in the past, ordered many supplies for Bartholomew Consulting Services. However, the President of Bartholomew Consulting Services and I are currently at an impasse as to the terms for this year’s Fischer-Tropsch Synthesis Short Course. I’m going to lose out this time to someone who’ll work dirt cheap (too cheap, I assure you) and will kiss a*#. Oh- sorry. A little bitterness leaked out there. Let me mop that up with a mini ShamWow®.
But if the President of Bartholomew Consulting Services orders something by himself, he does not use my name; he just uses the billing address. And the billing address entails that his name is spelled right and that the name of the company is spelled wrong (long story). So it’s just a delicious mystery. ShamWow® Angels?
The package came directly from the ShamWow® Company. It states right on the package that it contains four large ShamWow® cloths, four mini ShamWow® cloths and the special ten-year warranty (cum instruction sheet). No invoice. Well, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth (?). I’m just going to send my extreme gratitude out to the Universe and wrap myself in a cocoon made of ShamWow® cloths of both sizes and slip off to dream-land.