Le monde de fromage de Kate

Always a day late (or at least a few hours) and a dollar short.

Nevertheless, I’d like to wish all my beloved Canucks a (slightly belated ) Happy Thanksgiving! I hope Canada had a bountiful harvest. That, I will add, is the nice thing about Canadian Thanksgiving; you give thanks and have pie without any of the contradictory feelings of American Thanksgiving (celebration versus GUILT and such).

It was also Columbus Day (in the United States, I should clarify). Talk about your paradoxical holiday.

I will only say this about Columbus Day: “In fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue,” has got to be one of the greatest mnemonic sayings ever.

And if you think I picked this particular cornucopia just because it had a tiny pineapple in it, you are spot on.

My Powerbook is sick – VERY ill. It happened last night so suddenly; one minute my baby was perfect (as usual) and then – BLACK SCREEN. A spontaneously black screen on any computer is very disconcerting, needless to say. I won’t go elaborate on all the things I attempted to get it going again (switching batteries and power sources, etc., etc.).

I will say that Kate Logic™ (remember – like standard logic but with half the fat) dictated that since the screen was black (I could still hear a slight noise when I booted up that indicated SOME sort of processing – but no comforting boot-up “bong” – like that has anything to do with the keyboard), I removed all the keys and cleaned out as much cat hair and as many lint balls as I could. I got several bloody wounds in the course of this endeavor (what a surprise). This did not fix it. Even my life-blood did not fix it. The LIFE-BLOOD from MY VERY BODY.

It looks like the image above, incidentally, except with a few lil’ dings and scars and such. Oh – and it doesn’t have the posh Intel Core 2 Duo processor in it like the newer models. This does not mean I love it any less.

And just so you know, I have NOT dropped it recently. The Guru’s reply the that statement was, “Recently??”

Speaking of the Guru, he has taken my precious baby home with him to try and fix it (because I cannot imagine that he has anything better to do). Bless him (again and again).

When I ponder this serious problem, I wonder if it has something to do with Murphy’s Law or Karma or wretched irony. Why? Because just the other day I was thinking, “I haven’t backed up my computer in a long time!” See?

Please, people around the World who may read this blog (even if it’s just two or five or nine of you), pray or meditate or send positive energy to my beloved Mac (whichever method floats you boat). I love it so (too much, no doubt – though I DO love my Kitten Children more)!

This entry was typed with much resentment towards Windows on a wretched PC.

Everyone (worth knowing) recognizes that cheese has enjoyed a very long and storied history. For century upon century cheese has blessed the lives of the citizens of the World. All lauds and honours on CHEESE!

Notwithstanding, I thought it was likely that in bleak times – perhaps WORLD WAR II – cheese might have gone the way of rubber and sugar and stockings. But I wandered upon something that confirmed to me that cheese is always and forever important.

Here is a blurb from The Stars and Stripes, Volume 3, Number 8, Page 2 dated Tuesday, November 10, 1942. I’ll put it in historical perspective a little later:

Let me give you a transcription of this item, as the scans I was researching are deliberately crap so that you’ll order pricey originals. Not ME; I will just read more carefully. Anyhoo, here is the text:

Mrs. Anna Juchs won an uncontested divorce after testifying that her husband kept Limburger cheese under their bed.

While, as a noted turophile, I agree that it is inappropriate to keep ANY cheese under one’s bed, particularly – uhm – really strong-smelling cheese (it’s also inharmonious in terms of Feng Shui), I don’t see how funky cheese in the boudoir is grounds for an uncontested divorce. But what do I know.

This little bon mot, incidentally, was found in the Hush Marks section (gotta love that name) of the paper. If you’d like to see it in it’s original context, you can download the whole edition for Tuesday, November 10, 1942 right here.

My favourite thing about this whole cheese tidbit is that Sunday, November 8, 1942 marked the beginning of “Operation Torch” (part of Operation Blackstone), Patton’s convoy assault on the Algerian coast (my Grandfather was a military intelligence expert on Patton’s staff; he certainly had a bunch of near misses during this time). Consequently, The Stars and Stripes broke the news concerning this important offensive in the November 9, 1942 edition (and for the rest of the week).

What sort of interesting serendipity led me to a cheese item during the investigation of World War II campaigns? The cheese faeries move in mysterious ways.

The World has lost a whole contingent of plush, squishy friends. I am bereft; I probably won’t leave the house for days (and let’s just pretend it’s about the Blobbies). It was just yesterday that I received this very disturbing email:

Dear Party People,

This is the end, my friend. You may have noticed our neglect of Blobbyfarm.com since, oh, around April of 2006. At that time we moved (again), started new jobs, and just got busy. As we got more and more entrenched in our new lives, we found that there were a number of other things that trumped Blobbies in our lives – curating exhibitions, teaching, getting ready for our first child (woo-hoo!), locksmithing classes, frosting graffiti, etc. Blobbies fell by the wayside.

We recently received an email from our domain registrar notifying us that the URL Blobbyfarm.com expires on October 5th. We have made the decision to just let it go. Blobbyfarm.com will no longer exist. Sure, we’ll make a few Blobby related items for our new baby (we just got a silkscreener after all), and we can make a Blobby every now and again for our friends and family members. But as far as the general public is concerned, Blobby Farm is extinct.

We sincerely appreciate all the support we’ve received and friends we’ve made because of this goofy endeavor. As a final thank you, between now and October 5th, you can purchase anything on the Blobbyfarm.com website for 50% off the original price (sale price is as marked). It’s not like we were ever really in this for the money anyway. Make sure you download your coloring book pages and send your last Blob-E-Grams before October 5th when everything disappears.

Thanks again and we’ll catch you on the flip side.

Thanks and Cheers,
Maria and Chris
(The Blobby Farmers)

Yup. Just like that. Putting their fetus and jobs and house and other such shallowness ahead of building cuddly, stuffed companions for me The World the CHILDREN.

I find that I’m a little verklempt. However, as I’ve said before, you’ll have to chose your own damn topic and talk amongst yourselves.

P.S. If you act REALLY quickly (Blobby Farm) you may still be able to buy some postcards, greeting cards, mittens or buttons. The last of the Blobbies sold right away. And I didn’t get one. All is not right with the World.

It’s sick and wrong, I know, but the children keep GROWING UP! Even my niephews suffer from this horrible condition.

Paisley – poor child (ACK! She’s a CHILD now) – turned TWO last Monday (October 1). I’m sure she’s very upset and will tell people that she’s “turning one for the second time.”

Paisley likes to wear her “asses” – her sun-”asses.” Hey – that’s what she calls them. I love that she’s an aspiring fashion maven; note that her “asses” are upside-down. Now that’s COOL.

I think it’s a shame that Paisley will be teased so horribly when she reaches school because of her hideous visage. Yes, the ugly stick really hit her hard. **Sigh.**

Yes, I’m a copy-Kitten-Child. Grettir said he was “going pink for October,” so I had to find out all about it. Google it, and you find, among a myriad of links, Pink for October.

And in the time it took for me to muck up my site imposing the “Hills-Pink” template on it and (sort of) fixing it again, Grettir had established “Team Tiny Pineapple.” That’s why he’s the guru. As for going “pink,” it’s really very simple and doesn’t involve ANY STRIPES WHATSOEVER – I promise:

Take part in Pink for October, a campaign to help raise awareness of, and money for, breast cancer research as part of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please join the Tiny Pineapple Team and help raise money for Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Why didn’t anyone tell me that Jessica Biel I have been dating Justin Timberlake since May at least? Some sources say as long as a YEAR! Boy, have I been busy. I have accepted that my being Jessica Biel means the existence of an alternate parallel Universe that clearly I don’t get to consciously experience. And I need to watch the E! a little more, I guess, as that’s how I found out about my “love life” in the wee hours of the morning. What’s with THE EMPHATIC EXCLAMATION POINT ASSOCIATED WITH ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION®? I even TYPED it with extra (and unnecessary force); I felt compelled.

Ironically, I heard Justin – my Sweetie Pie? (Cookie Face? Honey Buns???) – allude to our relationship on Oprah, which I don’t watch very often, but happened to catch just LAST WEEK. He didn’t mention her me by name, though he said, “But all I can tell you is she smells lovely.” AND he sang a a lovely duet with Reba McEntire that HE wrote. Sorry – that all makes me a little verklempt – please talk amongst yourselves. Choose your own damn topic. And look at all the pictures of Justin and Jessica me; we’re eye candy.

Phew. Okay. Now will someone PLEASE tell me how I get into that alternate reality? Even if it’s just for a little while? I could use a trip to Europe and being one of the “young and beautiful” and some MONEY and all that jazz. I know that the paparazzi gets old, and Hollywood relationships don’t tend to last very long, and the shallowness, blah, blah, BLAH, so I’ll just settle for a TASTE of young, fashionable celebrity dating – fifteen minutes of fame – just a piffling soupçon. That’s ALL I ASK.

I wonder if I would have motion sickness (and asthma, et al.) in my parallel alternate Universe? It would be a little inconvenient for the jet-setting and such.

My Mother was in Kansas a few weeks ago, and she was helping Ashley with some “piece work” while they watched Sunset Tan (which is a peculiar and amusing circumstance all by itself, I must say). My Father called them (on the first cell phone of his VERY OWN – which is another amusing tale, but for another time) and asked what they were doing. This was Ashley’s response:

And in case you’re wondering: YES, they were. Oh, the ways to make a buck in rural Kansas… One day, if you are very, VERY good I’ll tell you all about “bull fries.”