Yes, today I spilled my beverage again. I admit this is not an unusual occurrence, but it would be misleading to say it was constant or daily, as a rule (I won’t mention the fact that I spilled enough times at my last job that they got me one of those “commuter” mugs with a lid on it and wouldn’t let me use my mug with the Smurfs on it). Nor do I want to be pathetic enough to add a “spill” category to my blog, because my propensity to fall AND spill might seem pitiable traits, instead of merely quirky and charming as they are now.

BZZZZZZT!!!! Don’t deny my little world of comforting delusions!

Anyhooooo, yesterday I had a 20-ounce cup of coffee with a lid on a lunch tray. I had successfully negotiated the various doors and stairways (once or twice I have failed that challenge). I got to my desk, the coffee flew off the tray, thrown, no doubt, by those invisible people who trip me. Even with the lid on coffee managed to coat a goodly portion of my desk, most notably my keyboard tray and my keyboard. It then leapt to the floor, lost its lid and made a good-sized puddle, leaving splatters all over the drawers and my chair.

I spent a long time yesterday popping the keys out of my keyboard so that I could clean the inside, wiping down five bijillion surfaces and making many trips to the restroom to get towels out of those machines with motion sensors that parsimoniously dispense only ONE TOWEL AT A TIME. Housekeeping had to come and clean the carpet. I think I’ve ruined my nice squishy gel-filled wrist rest. When I got home I discovered a very large brown stain on my bodice. The whole thing wasted a lot of time. Needless to say, I did not refill the coffee yesterday. I figured that was asking for trouble.

Today, however, I thought I could start anew. I held that Styrofoam coffee cup onto my tray with a vise-like grip. I set safely out of the way on my desk. I even managed to drink some of it. A little later, though, I somehow, for no apparent reason, managed to literally fling the cup out of my hand. The lid, naturally, came off in the process. Yes – coffee all over the desk. On some of the mail. And down the wall. And in those weird, difficult-to-access “cable” crannies under and behind the desk.

It is genetic, but that’s a story for another time.