Mostly whimsy and drivel of no consequence. And CHEESE.
A while ago, when I acquired a second kitten, a friend of mine sent me a link to this item from Archie McPhee:
I thought it was funny; I’m an Archie McPhee fan and it’s a very clever send-up. Then he sent me a link to “CATPRIN, a tailor for cats.” I thought this was VERY funny. I especially like the introductory text and the instructions:
CATPRIN, a tailor for cats. Ever imagined dressing up your lovely cat into a fabulous beauty? You don’t have to dress her everyday, in fact she might not feel comfortable with a dress on for days. Just dress her up only on special occasions like her birthday, takes a photo and that should leave you lots of memories and fantasies.
Dress me up! Please! Meow…..
Have fun with CatPrin
- 1. Dress her up. Cheer or yell, do whatever you like to enjoy the moment with your family.
- 2. After you are enough with your joy, take a photo! Take some poses and leave her some cute photos!
- 3. Remove her clothes and give her a hub, say “Thank you!”
Don’t forget to “hub” her! Otherwise, how will she know you “are enough with your joy?” Here is one of my favorite CatPrin outfits (with description):
Leopard’s Hat and Shawl, 5,300 Yen
Wow! Kind of scary! Am I?
Cute cat becomes gorgeous and wild leopard! A single shawl acts as a foppish muffler as well. The back of both the hat and the shawl are textures of tartan check, velcrod, and can be attached or detached easily.
I need to look into this revolutionary new fastener – “velcrod.” Japanese technology is always so far ahead of the rest of the World.
Here’s one more choice ensemble and description:
Anne’s Housekeeper Package, 3,800 Yen
A Cat with long red hair!? Here comes the Star of the masterpiece “Anne of Green Gables”!
Let her play the leading role in the masterpiece “Anne of Green Gables”! Isn’t her coquettish red hair cute? Let’s give her a broom and this lady with little red hood , is likely to start cleaning up your room. 🙂 The country-tone blouse are made of the same material as the hood, presenting a consistency in the appearance. The yellow flower in the center of the collar is impressive as well! All ornaments are velcrod and can be attached or detached easily.
Ha ha! What fun! But, at some point, the insecurity begins creeping in. Am I turning into a “Crazy Cat Lady?” Yes, I talk to my cats. Yes, I cuddle and hug my cats and kiss them on their little heads. Yes, I made each of my cats her own little hand-crocheted afghan. Yes, they own about five hundred toys. Yes, I do bathe them occasionally. Yes, indeed, I do call them my “kitten children.”
Nevertheless, I’ve given it considerable thought, and I’ve decided that, though I’m clearly a “crazy lady,” I am NOT a “Crazy Cat Lady.” These are the reasons I protest a designation as “Crazy Cat Lady:”
- I only have two cats. As you can clearly see, according to the action figure, you must have at LEAST six cats to be a “Crazy Cat Lady.”
- Neither of my cats is a feral cat. “Crazy Cat Ladies” rescue feral cats. In fact, they usually assimilate enough of these felines that they probably couldn’t tell you exactly how many cats they actually HAD. On Animal Cops or Animal Precinct they’d call a “Crazy Cat Lady” a “collector.”
- A “Crazy Cat Lady” would also have difficulty telling you how many cats she “owned” because she won’t have managed to spay or neuter all her felines, so her household cat population will regularly increase exponentially. You see this all the time with “collectors” on Animal Cops or Animal Precinct. BeBe and Fiona have both been spayed.
- Neither of my cats are outdoor cats or even indoor/outdoor cats. They have beds and such and oodles of playthings and stay inside.
- I am not blond. The official “Crazy Cat Lady” action figure is clearly blond.
- I do NOT wear my bathrobe all the time. I plead the Fifth on the issue of the pajamas.
- A “Crazy Cat Lady” would not name her cats “Beatrice Alessandra Gatto” and “Fiona Maura MacArthur.” Her cats would be named “Sparky” and “Oreo” and at least one of them would be missing an eye, a leg, a tail, or two or more of the aforementioned body parts.
And now, the ultimate tool has been provided by Archie McPhee. I took the “ARE YOU A CRAZY CAT PERSON?” quiz thoughtfully provided with their item description of the “Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure.” Here are my results:
See? I am NOT a “Crazy Cat Lady!”
Can you get more scientific than that? Not only has this test definitively confirmed that I am NOT a “Crazy Cat Lady,” apparently, I am not crazy at all! What a relief!
Sheesh – all the money I’ve wasted on therapy! Then again, perhaps counseling has prevented the possibility of my “someday” qualifying…
Pam
March 3rd, 2005 at 11:52 am
You know, the redhead Annie cat is totally cute…in a demented way. I’ve told you I want a bald Egyptian cat, right? I don’t like cat hair, but I think a cat would be fun. Maybe not, though. I just know I would get an insane one that would milk my earlobe or try to kill me as I slept. I’m not a good judge of pet character.
Kate
March 5th, 2005 at 9:27 pm
I can only say this: snakes are not dogs, chinchillas are not dogs, and even dogs don’t necessarily turn out how you have envisioned.
A short-haired cat does NOT make much of a mess at all (unless you go around scaring the hell out of it all the time – when cats are truly frightened they can literally “throw” hair). Also, I like using the shedding implement and making my own hairballs (to throw away, of course). And the incidence of homicides perpetrated by felines is much lower than you might think. As for milking your earlobe, they only tend to do that if they were weaned too soon, and you don’t HAVE to let them do it. GET A CAT! A cat WITH hair, please. I’ll help!
Pam
March 9th, 2005 at 9:08 am
Ha, ha, ha! “To throw away, of course…” Tee, hee! I just love that you had to clarify that. 🙂
Bart
March 25th, 2005 at 4:39 pm
I think your “Crazy Cat Lady” lives in the same building as these guys.
Maybe they could all get together for dinner sometime…