I think I conduct my crazy hair colouring experiments in the middle of the night because then NO ONE CAN STOP ME – ha ha ha HAAAA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA (and other maniacal laughter). I spent a week intermittently mulling over the whole Goth Strawberry Shortcake debacle. I shopped for restorative products TWICE, photographs of my former hair colour from the “olden days” in tow (all the while changing my mind, returning things, and then adding this and that).

Last night, in the witching hours, I decided to just GO FOR IT. First, I used a colour-removing product:

One ‘n Only┬« Colorfix by Jheri Redding

I purchased this product AGAINST the advice of the knowledgeable store personnel, who, by the nature of my countless stupid questions, doubtless gleaned that I should not, in good conscience, be allowed to mess with “Professionals Only” products. I, however, was feeling rebellious – and, evidently, willing to lose all my hair with extremely grim chemical burns.

Fear not, with my battlefield surgical setting all in place, and having read the instructions many times (I am a WOMAN, after all), I successfully completed the “colour removal” process. The result was very interesting; it vaguely resembles your original hair colour (it’s almost like the “ghost of hair colour past”), but because permanent hair colour removes a percentage of your natural pigment in order to deposit new hues (it’s CHEMISTRY – I am a SCIENTIST), it’s a little odd. So then you add new colour.

I had purchased and returned various colours, finally ending up with three shades. Yes, I thought I’d mix my own hair colour. Yes, I am the least qualified person on the face of this Earth to do so (excluding three to four-year-olds). Yes, I am the epitome of hubris. But, as I said, I was feeling rebellious. And I was feeling like a SCIENTIST. So here is my most scientific hair colour equation:
In the end, I thought THREE colours was too fancy...

Naturally, you mix the colour with equal parts of the developer.

Everyone knows how much I like a good hybrid. And see? I did MATH, too. And most significantly, I timed everything IN THE BATHROOM so that I wouldn’t be distracted by “reproductive” television or “stick between the legs!” Then I used lots and lots of THIS (very good stuff, incidently).

Ultimately, I did not go bald (yet), I did not sustain any chemical burns, and I think my hair is, in fact, much closer to its “natural” colour. And ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WILL REALLY BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE. Huzzah!