Mostly whimsy and drivel of no consequence. And CHEESE.
The day my Holiday catalog from The Wisconsin CheesemanĀ® arrives is a festive one, indeed. Unfortunately, when I was perusing this inspiring tome last night I had an immediate and unquenchable desire for cheese. I HAD TO HAVE CHEESE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. We only have “lite” Jarlsberg (not so bad as it sounds) and a mild cheddar in the house. But a little bit of each seemed to assuage my desperate need.
Then, back to the brightly coloured pages of the catalog. I must be very honest with you. The Wisconsin CheesemanĀ® Holiday catalog has a myriad of “corporate” style gift packs – overwhelming displays of cheeses, sausages, crackers and spreads in cheerfully decorated boxes. They often contain, to the chagrin of the true turophile, quite a few cheese “spreads” in lovely foil with misleadingly foreign names that are actually comprised of “pasteurized process cheese food.” Cheese food? That’s just wrong.
One must ignore the “mega-gift-pack” route and take a look at the natural cheese that they make or buy. This is the tantalizing part. Aged cheddar, Longhorn Colby, Country white cheddar, award-winning Provolone, aged cheddar, an aged bleu cheddar (I lust after this one),baby Swiss, ball Gouda, an aged Parrano, artisan rosemary-flavoured white cheddar, REAL brick cheese (made by the ONLY company that still makes authentic brick cheese – they use third generation bricks for pressing), cranberry white cheddar – I could go on and on. They do make some of their own spreads, which I’m guessing are lovely. They also peddle some scrumptious-looking baked goods, including petits fours (I LOVE petits fours). They even carry St. Dalfour’s Conserves (fruit preserves sweetened only with fruit juice – DELICIOUS and JUST FRUIT – P.S. you can buy them locally at a lower price).
There was, however, an artisan cheese that initially gave me pause:
This is Manteche Artisan Cheese. Here’s an excerpt of the catalog description:
Artisans hand-shape warm whole-milk Provolone around a half pound block of unsalted butter. The mild cheese and butter share their flavors as this delicacy ripens.
Cheese filled with BUTTER? Is this excessive decadence? Is this dairy ostentatiousness?
Then I thought about it for a bit. A thin slice of this cheese on an excellent bread? Now that sounds decadently DELICIOUS.
Deborah Gamble
October 18th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
So, um, like, you really love cheese? I order most things without cheese. Like burritos, pizza, and salads. But we’re talking cheddar or mozarella there. Now feta…I love that cheese! I’m afraid my palate is too naive to know if I like the pompous-sounding named cheeses above, but my guess is with a nice wafer thin craker, they’d be de-lish.
Kate
October 18th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
SANS CHEESE?
Some people are lactose-intolerant, and I feel a strong and abiding pity for them, but NO CHEESE by CHOICE????
I would ask if you were vegan, but you like feta…(I survived several months worth of being vegan very well, actually, but you do have to change adjust your turophile sensibilities).
**Sigh** Well, it takes all kinds of peoples to make the World… whatever it is…and the purple ones, too…
Deborah Gamble
October 21st, 2007 at 11:21 am
I used to be vegan. Alas, I also used to weigh 20 lbs less than I do now. So it definitely had its upside. Driving everyone nervous and crazy around me was its worst downside.
Jodi
October 27th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Kate, you do know that I GAVE UP CHEESE (and all other dairy products) VOLUNTARILY when I decided to take the precarious-but-thrilling-for-its-precariousness leap into veganism, right? Well, on a recent trip to Vermont, the allure of your beloved was so overwhelming that I found myself indulging, during one food-event (I hate the word “meal” and can’t bear to use it — in fact, even typing it here in quotation marks [used to indicate that I never use this word in so-called REAL LIFE] is making me cringe quite mightily!), both a delightfully toasty GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH and an ENORMOUS dish of macaroni & cheese!!! I ate much of this with my eyes flutter-closed, in quite a blissful state. Later, however, my stomach rebelled, NOT so blissfully. But for the 14.6 seconds it took me to scarf down all these creamy delights, it was heavenly!
Kate
October 27th, 2007 at 6:30 am
Dear Deborah,
I keep meaning to ask you how your being a Vegan would drive everyone nervous and crazy. Were you too full of Vegan energy?
Or, rather, was it a matter of people eying you suspiciously and gossiping amongst themselves, “Yes, I DO believe she’s eating lentils AGAIN – and they are ALL DIFFERENT COLORS! Oh – and I heard the other day she ate something called QUINOA! I think that’s full of ALCOHOL!!!”
Dear Jodi,
Yes, the call de fromage. It is strong and irresistible sometimes…
I found out this summer that I could do Vegan (but WITH SOY – my bro and sister-in-law had good reasons to go without – but you gotta have the SOY) but I would miss the cheese. Oh, how I’d miss the cheese. Ironically, I don’t eat all that much cheese right now (probably because I’m not where particularly tempting cheese is).
Well, take care of that Wisconsin Cheese Fella. And if you end up in some sort of cheese scenario with him (I know that sounds kinky – take it as you will) just remember MODERATION IN ALL THINGS. Hmm. That’s not as convincing when you shout it.