Just so you know, in order to compensate for the vast, dire heap of twaddle that is my so-called existence, I have fancy pens on my desk (e.g. bejeweled, marabou-bedecked, some impaling wee furry animals – those are obscene in a cute kind of way – several furry AND bendable AND unusually long, one that talks…).

I have several of these, in fact.

And these.

OOOOOOH! I don’t have this

But I don’t want this. It makes me sad.