Mostly whimsy and drivel of no consequence. And CHEESE.
A group of women looking at the “junior” seasonal t-shirts were exclaiming with shock and awe (works here too, yes?) at the baby-doll “T” that said “Jingle my Bells.” Wait – perhaps it was “You can Jingle MY Bells!” Oooooh – it could have even been, “Jingle THESE Bells” (if you want to know for certain I can tell you where to purchase said item, but let’s leave that a mystery here). Naturally, the little girl with them asks:
What does, “Jingle My Bells” mean?
There was a long pause (long to accommodate our exit, anyway), but Shirleen and I were stifling our laughter too assiduously and with such great difficulty that we didn’t get to stay and hear the response.
Parents, PLEASE tell me what you would have said to your young child in answer to this festive query. And bear in mind YOU have the luxury to think a bit about your reaction. Maybe I could even consider this a Public Service Announcement like the ones from Phillip Morris that tells you how to talk to your children about cigarettes. Of course, if it’s like those PSA’s, then this one would have to be sponsored by…Hooters (probably worse).
Ah yes, “The More You Know.”
grettir
December 5th, 2005 at 9:55 am
In 17th-century Germany, public officials would often attach small bells to their coat sleeves so that any passing constituent who wanted to get their attention could tug on the sleeve, ringing the bell, thus letting the public servant know of an opportunity to render service.
To this day, the phrase “jingling someone’s bell” denotes servicing…I mean, serving others…
Kate
December 5th, 2005 at 5:35 pm
Damn. You are GOOD. I meant good at EXPLANATIONS, of course.
jenny
December 5th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
(Grettir, you’re full of baloney. But it’s credible baloney.
If German public officials had run around with bells sewn on their sleeves, town meetings would have been like one big, crazy production of “Auntie Mame.” Good heavens, the Germans of all people are much too dignified to walk about town sounding like belly dancers and cart-horses.)
I’ve become pretty good at avoiding actual, factual explanations of double-entendres and other social situations that I’m not yet ready to discuss with my youngsters. I probably would have said something along these lines:
“‘Jingle My Bells’ means that you do something for that person that makes them really happy! Like giving them a present, or doing something nice…like cleaning up their room for them.”
Yes indeed, it’s a total cop-out. But it’s technically true! Personally, if someone cleaned my room for me I’d be thrown into complete raptures.
Kate
December 6th, 2005 at 4:39 am
You know, Jenny, I would, too, be thrown into a state of bliss and rapture if someone “jingled my bells” by cleaning my room. I cannot deny that my bells would also use … forget it. Too much information.
You impress me as parents (seriously). Cop-outs are PERFECT in this scenario for children, I would think. Teenagers – they probably understand ANYWAY and you might end up instead in a discussion of why you will not let a teenage daughter WEAR that shirt.
Pam
December 6th, 2005 at 7:53 am
Jenny: your cop-out is good…TOO good. Your kids would be SURE to use it in conversations at primary, or at school, or with neighbor friends. You need a cop-out that is entirely boring to children and flies completely under the radar. Grettir’s works well for this because once you use the phrase “17th-century Germany” with a child, they’re gone. Their eyes glaze over and they’ve moved on to greener double entendres.
My preference, however, would be a diversion tactic: “Look, CANDY!” Simple, yet elegant, no?
jenny
December 6th, 2005 at 10:31 pm
Naw, because then you have to actually purchase the candy. With the room-cleaning explanation you get some honest-to-goodness payback!
By the way, this whole post reminds me of a Christmas White Elephant gift I gave at a party at your house many, many, MANY moons ago, Kate. It was a tube top with jingle bells strategically sewn over each, um, teat. I even have a picture of it (not on me, of course—never fear), but I don’t know how to post it.
Kate
December 7th, 2005 at 12:47 am
The “Jingle My Bells” tube top! I’d forgotten about that. It really was the best White Elephant party – and your gift took the cake (and shocked a few people, too). I seem to recal having a picture of it somewhere, too. But if you email me a copy of YOUR picture I will post is post-haste!
jenny
December 15th, 2005 at 8:59 am
D’you know, that WAS the best White Elephant party ever! Whenever I have to think of a W.E. gift, my mind automatically goes back to that party because there were so many fabulous prizes. Amy got that crazy elf-creature made out of a big ol’ tube sock (which remains one of my favorite stuffed toys EVER); and I remember that Shirleen gave someone an incredibly moldy plastic bag full of dinner rolls. I mean, they were so moldy that the entire bag was full of mold, and the rolls were just kinda scattered amond the fungus like little marshmallows. Now THAT’S what I call a real White Elephant.