Last Thursday was CHOCK-FULL. Chock-Full o’ what (you have to use “o'” – I promise – even if it’s NOT “Chock-Full O’ Nuts”)? CHOCK-FULL O’ SURREALITY, I must say. But I shan’t go into all of that right now. Let’s just talk mobile phones.

Yes, indeed, my new phone is NAKED as the day it was born. (?) So much for my new MODEST – not TOPLESS – phone. It has a POUCH, because evidently it is a nascent marsupial of some variety. But, in order to USE the handset, one must remove it from the cozy safety of it’s pouch; there it is in a nude, vulnerable state (believe me – it is in imminent peril because I WILL drop it – not deliberately, but it will happen); it’s in DANGER, I tell you.

The Marsupial’s Pouch

Okay, secretly, I still think it’s SUPER-COOL. And, yes, I realize that the mere fact that I would employ that term means that I am, indeed, NOT “SUPER-COOL.” I don’t care. My phone takes WEE, TINY MOVIES. That is, I believe, why it cannot have “leathers,” actually. The top of the phone pivots so you can play mini cinematographer. And it takes a WEE, TINY Micro SD/Transflash card – so WEE!!!
Seriously - this thing is SO WEE!!!

AND I have a wireless Bluetooth headset. This means I can walk about looking COOL (or pretentious, I’m not sure which, but I’m going with COOL at this juncture).
It's COOL, right?

My new naked phone is also an MP3 player, can take voice memos, plays TV and movie clips (I’ve been watching little snippets of The Daily Show) and can launch The Space Shuttle (the BEST one, you can be certain) from ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. Okay, doubt what you will, but my phone can also be a SPY. Here is one of it’s possible disguises (I’m compromising National Security – but since it’s Monday, how could I possibly make it any worse?).
These are called FUZZY FRIENDS.

Oh, ye unsuspecting civilians, you may THINK it’s just a fuzzy-wuzzy lady bug, but in truth, IT IS A DEADLY PHONE. BEWARE: It may also be disguised as a teddy bear or a panda bear. I’m not kidding.