Mostly whimsy and drivel of no consequence. And CHEESE.
Never commit yourself to a cheese without having first examined it.
– T. S. Eliot.
I could live at the Juhl Haus Market & Deli (formerly the Cheese House which was formerly the Cheese HAUS – one must agree – “haus” is much better than “house” when it comes to cheese). They have a delightful selection of international items (teas, biscuits, chocolates, confections, fondue pots – even fairly obscure articles like vegemite). They make scrumdiddlyumptious sandwiches. They make simply divine lemon bars.
BUT… More relative than this: the CHEESE’s the thing.
They have an mind-boggling selection of domestic and imported cheeses, everything from the rather staid cheddar, demure gouda and unadventurous havarti (a personal favorite, though), to a engaging Chèvre imbued with Anise & Lavender, several flirtatious blues blended with fruit, and the pièce de résistance, Fromager d’Affinois. This is a truly orgasmic triple-créme brie. I’ve never been an especially huge brie aficionado, but one taste of Fromager d’Affinois would make lactose-intolerant people want to commit hary-cary.
Moreover, as the Juhl Haus says:
Our impassioned cheesemongers are anxious to share their knowledge of cheeses with you as they suggest new ways of serving cheese, expose your palette to new tastes, and inspire your quest for the best in cheese.
No kidding – impassioned cheesemongers to “inspire your quest for the best in cheese.” I think I’ll embroider that on a sampler. And speaking of samplers, I do believe The Juhl Haus would feed you cheese tidbits all day: it’s DAIRY NIRVANA, I tell you! I only suggest you avoid the particular cheesemonger who thinks it’s hysterically funny to make everyone taste the “Bierkäse” (yes, that’s “Beer cheese”). Actually, I didn’t mind it, but I am, as you may know, an unabashed turophile. It made my husband want to heave.
RESEARCH NOTE: Gloom, bitterness and ANGUISH. It’s possible that Fromager d’Affinois is NOT a true triple-créme as I was told (and as one often reads), but a mere double créme. Please pardon me while I weep and lament over the shattered pieces of my erstwhile delusion. Then again – the horror – that means Fromager d’Affinois has only a 60% fat content as opposed the 70% of the “true” triple-créme.
A winkle is an edible sea snail.
Not to be confused with Mr. Winkle. He, unlike our sea snail friend, is harmless.
Winkle! Winkle!! WINKLE!!!!
The following is one of the tidbits from the “Fact of the Day” service. These nuggets of erudition arrive on my mobile phone each evening at 7:00 p.m. MST. I pay two cents every day for this privilege. Hold onto your seats:
An elementary rule of mushroom collecting is never to place edible and poisonous specimens together.
I am rendered [practically] speechless. Would you have EVER thought of such a thing without having seen this “elementary rule of mushroom collecting?”
Thank you, Fact of the Day. Oh, the lives you’ll save.
Just so you know, in order to compensate for the vast, dire heap of twaddle that is my so-called existence, I have fancy pens on my desk (e.g. bejeweled, marabou-bedecked, some impaling wee furry animals – those are obscene in a cute kind of way – several furry AND bendable AND unusually long, one that talks…).
I have several of these, in fact.
And these.
OOOOOOH! I don’t have this…
But I don’t want this. It makes me sad.
I had cheese today. But it was still a wretched day. Sometimes cheese just isn’t enough.
No cheese today; I am empty inside.*
*Except for the food.
